The Shining Source

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.

- You are not allowed to touch a wall.

- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."

- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy.

- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.

- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.

* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

Ten year-olds would be worse, but five year-olds can be quite nasty too.

Considering they're all healthy and about twice my size, I reckon I could take down a good ten or twenty of them using my "Giant Swing" technique - pick one up, spin it around and clobber the rest of the little gits with the first kid's boots/head. Instant K.O.

Also, I'm a ninja. Don't forget that.

Don't just give a number and say "this many". That would be a shit reply. Think about it, then press submit.

If the movies have taught me anything, it is that any one person with good intentions can take on a near infinite number of 'Bad Guys'

Seeing as i have righteousness on my side i would feel quite confident. Lacking foreign objects i would rely not on the Pipe-O-Justice which would severely impair my fighting style, However the best tool to this fight would be right below me...the ground.

The fight would consist of many open-palmed strikes to noses, kicks to the stomache, and headbutts (when the buggers start to get smart).
But most importantly, slamming heads against the ground at every opportunity.

I dont feel that i could take 'Them all on' but after the day was over someone would be going to the hospital for serious injuries.

I wager i could take on about Nine in this manner in a grand total of twelve before they got the best of me.

IF (and albeit against the rules) i was able to sport the pipe-O-justice the children would be hard-pressed to take me down. The pipe itself is about the length of two and a half baseball bats (roughly five feet, thats about 1.52 meters for you brits/duchies) Made out of steel tubing..i assume its used for plumbing.
Various moves could be utilised with said weapon. The good olde swing, a foreward stabbing motion in the ribs would surely do the trick, and with a hand at both ends ramming it straight into someone's nose.

Goes to show that some are better armed than others

Seeing as I'm 6'2", and 210 pounds, I don't think I'd have much difficulty.  Having two younger brothers, I know the sorts of tactics kids employ.  Even if I got tired, I'd have but to stand and let them grapple at my legs until I felt like continuing.

Without a doubt the very best thing ever posted on this forum. Sean, I salute you as always.

MOBN - you may have two younger brothers, and you might be big and fat, but you didn't actually answer the question. How many, punk? HOW MANY?

edited by Devlyn: fixed quotation

Oh, how many.  Last time I was asked this question it was "Could you beat 100 5-year-olds".
I could probably take 125 or so before I went down.  And I'm not fat.  I've been lifting weights and whatnot, and I've actually got some muscle on me now.  Soon I'll be a muslcebound adonis!

I'll be damned if i couldn't take down at least 20. When i get mad i don't care how many there are. Let me think about it. Twenty is not that many. They're pretty small, and i'm 6'4'' 180lb, i could take half of them down through kicking. Then i would just fly into a rampage and trample the rest of them. Not to exagerate, but bring on a good 25 of them.

Spot the ego.

Bearing in mind these kids are all trained to take down an adult, plus they're five years-old and have at least twenty-times the energy of any adult human, I think saying a hundred and twenty five is a bit off the mark. That's this many five year-olds.

                       

That's a lot of beating.

Find me 125 5-year-olds with consenting parents, and we'll see how many I can take.

That'd be rather nifty to see  :lol:

instead of Meetup it could be coined "Ye Olde Beat-up"

:lol:

If the kids come all at once I'd say I could take 10 or so before they can crush me with their sheer accumulated weight.

If they come one by one then I think 1700 would be a more accurate estimation .

1337 no more, no less

Key note to some of these higher numbers listed: Basketball Court.

If it's jammed up with 50 five year olds, you aren't really going to have anywhere to get momentum going.

Think about how five year olds fight.  They grab on, they climb up, they BITE.  If they want to - they can be pretty nasty.  They use finger nails and teeth like you will use your steel toed shoes.
Really it's hard to determine a critical amount of 5 year olds - since you would have to plot your own downfall in your minds eye (not something we are used to doing).  Though I can definitely see the difference between having 10 five year olds trying to get close to me in an arena of that size, and 50 of the little satans.  
I don't think many people who were 6ft and over would have much of a problem with the average five year old, or handful of five year olds, but the solution to staying alive in the battle against the hordes of youngness(TM) would no doubt tire you out fairly quickly.
With my level of fitness (which isn't all that great) provided I start away from the group of kids to start with (runup is all-important in my shaolin trample style)  I could deal to 20.  If there were 25 of the blighters I'd probably wear out while there were still too many left, and the court would be that much more packed to make it more difficult.

I'm tall enough that they're not going to have much to bite.  At best they can nibble on my thigh, and if I'm wearing jeans, that's not a big deal.  Since my knees are right at 5-year-old head-level, it would be a simple matter to continuously knee them in the face, just do a jig with the same effects.  As long as they don't make me bend over (alter my center of gravity) or squat (expose my head to attack), I don't think they'd be an issue.  But as I've said, I'd really have to try it to see.
One day the holodeck will be invented, and we'll all get together and laugh at each other as we test this.  Then we'll get drunk, and decide to try it with just 5-year-old girls, and see who's the biggest wuss then.  And Devlyn will inevitably (spelling?) lose as they all pounce to lick the peanut-butter off of his face.

Mage, my nephew is just over a year old, and he comes up to my knees if he stands up (which he can't unaided). How short are five year-olds over there, or have you just got the highest knees in the world? From what I've found by browsing the 'net, the average five year-old is about one metre tall, which is closer to your hip than your knee.

Besides, five year-olds have arms, and when they have arms they have the Spinning Punch Attack of Death?, which can cripple any man in half a second. You know what I'm talking about.

I still think saying over one hundred at the same time is just insane, jeans or no jeans. Fighting in jeans? Even Ryo Hazuki got beaten wearing jeans sometimes.

I suppose if you got through enough of them you would have made mounds here and there, and could build up a hill with the bodies, giving you the extra height, but I still think there would be a critical mass.

Very valid question though Newts, I mean really we don't know about this sort of thing unless we discuss it - and it's always handy to have plans laid out in case a "resident evil" state occurs and you find yourself at a primary school.