The Shining Source

With Ty having just tied the knot and everyone here growing old rather gracefully, I wondered if anyone here had got engaged or married and it had perhaps slipped my attention? I can't remember who everyone's significant others are - or even if they've been mentioned - but I thought I'd show some interest as I've been coming here for almost the last decade of my life (fuucckk...)

I'll start off then! In July I'm getting married to my partner of the last eight years, Hannah, on her 23rd birthday. We met online in January 2001 and were in a long distance relationship for over four and a half years (I think Ty can top that, though ), until we moved in together in September 2005. Since then we've gone from strength to strength, and I proposed to her on her birthday 2007.

We're getting married in a country hotel in the Lake District, in a little chapel-style building towards the back. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to it!

You already know what I did

Been with my one for 2 years almost now.  Not any sort of record for me though.  We're in love, and I don't think I will ever get "married", although an event with a show of commitment and vows could well happen in the future.

Any particular reason you won't get married, Elv? The event you describe sounds to me a lot like a wedding!

Here's a photo of me and Phil that I'm sure he won't mind me sharing. I tell you what - he scrubs up all right, that brother of mine

Nice photo

Yep, it does sound a lot like a wedding.  There are differences though.

Umm, let's see. . .
It may sound a little too Politically Correct, but I know what marriage stood for not long ago in the past in the west.  My current girlfriend is from Iran and although her family isn't religious, marriage in her culture is very much an ideology I disagree with.  So reason 1 is that I don't see why I should call such a bond a wedding and marriage out of a sort of "why not, I'll make it mean what I want it to" complacency.

Secondly. . .
Given divorce rates and the smashing of fairy tales in my life a couple of long-term relationships ago, I think it would be disrespectful of me to promise under God that this bond is life-long.  This is exacerbated by the fact I don't believe in God in a traditional way.

As I said, when the time is right I'm quite prepared to make my own decision on the level of commitment I'm willing to give, and offer it as a promise in front of my friends and family to the woman I love.
These things do really depend on my history and current circumstances, so it's not meant as a negative to anyone who does in fact get married.    You're brave

My wedding was last Friday - I am happy now

congratulations Newts

photos?

Congrats, how many married people are there here now? We seem to be following the same trend. I actually got married in May 2008, after being with my wife long distance for about 2 years. We had a small wedding, which is what we wanted. Would have married sooner, but there was an issue with me being white (and by that account, supposedly a Christian... but they know better now).


I don't mean to probe but what exactly do you disagree with? I actually ended up converting to Islam (which was a total reversal of my previous self, I was anti-religious and an Atheist pretty much up to then), and my wife is Bengali (British by birth, immigrant parents from Bangladesh) although we're what you call "Sunni" not the majority Shia from Iran.

(Edit: I've made the assumption that she comes from a Muslim family, however there is a sizeable Jewish population there too)

Well, if you ask here's a few things off the top of my head.  As I said I have other reasons from my own life too, but here's the principle of my dislike for marriages meaning in Iran.
The treatment of women as property during the act of marriage itself.  The responsibility of the husband for the wifes actions.  The laws which allow a husband to have absolute power over his wife.  Also, the system therefore promotes male dominance in other social interactions outside of marriage(including rape for little or no reason).

Her family isn't religious - so it's not about what religion she's from, there's been quite a few different ones in the area over the centuries.  It's more about the culture of the area as a whole that I am referring to.  Indeed the arguments used to hold the culture static are religious - but from interactions with her family I can see that a non-religious family still has the same perception of what marriage is, and how that effects a womans freedom.

Also as an interesting sidebar, she tells me that in school she was taught that everyone born in Iran is Muslim.  This would be post-revolutionary teaching of course.