The Shining Source

well since we've established the presence of a least One female in here..i'd like to throw out a general statement:

Im nice, Funny (i think), Sweet, Caring, I cry, I write Poetry, I write Stories, I LOVE to cuddle, Im very romantic, Im very intimate, Very honorable, High moral values, Intelligent (i think), Well spoken, I can Cook, I Clean.....from what i understand im one of them fairly 'desireable' guys out there..

At least i think so..although ive no evidence that i am since if i changed myself completely...grabbed a '40, started beating women, and spreading bastard children throughout the land...i'd be the next best thing since sliced bread

i know the obvious answer to this question: Should i wait it out? or should i grab a pair of brass knuckles and go to town?

It just bugs me how easily the nice guy can really finish last..makes zero logical sense...
hehe i guess i can just keep beating my head against a wall or bury myself in games and work to where i dont notice..yeah that sounds better.

*Runs off for some Nocturnal Sabatoge*

Important, important, super-important lesson: DONT TRY. At least, don't look like you're trying. I've seen too many of my mates (most of the nice guy variety) suddenly turn into these cringe-inducing romantic stereotypes...they were even using bad 'lines'.  :shock:
But then, if u don't try, maybe nothing will happen...sounds like a catch 22 situation to me.
Umm, I think I was pretty much a hopeless romantic type...then followed five years of being stuffed around by a girl. Now we're together, and will hopefully never part - my point is, I dont think Im nearly so dreamer-like now.
Conclusion: delve into videogames! Just don't do so to the point where u lose all social skills - thats when u oughta start worrying!

Hah, im sure u didnt need to hear all that - it's just such a familiar situation these days...

Well that's a good lesson!
Never try either do or do not but never try  

"Nice guys finish last" even Green Day know that so be mean machos  

Well a friend of mine - he is more or less what I would call a nice guy - caught his last girlfriend with the super nice girls movie boy clich? - ya know this "You look like your freezing" "Nah it's ok" "No you are freezing - take my jacket" kinda dialogues. It was sooooo funny watching them - I had to laugh all the time.

IMHO you should always be true to yourself and never pretend to be someone else just to get a girl.

You know I'm a Buddhist and I'm one of the intelligent/immature people. But I must say this forum has some half intelligent people in it. And I'm not one to pass out compliments very often. People here tend to see things as black and white which I naturally don't but it's not nessisarily a bad thing, I usually take things inpersonal and counter with a joke. But on to the topic, Sigmund Freud said "Love and suicide are not much different." so if you're only in a relationship for dominance and/or sex feel the wraith of suffering. Learn to love your man or women as an equal, not a better or worse, I believe it's called unconditional love. Shoot me I talk to much, I must be getting high off the stench in my room.

A famous (and actually one of the few who are not only famous and taught at school but also really good) German writer had the idea that pain/tragedy and fun/humor are really close together. He considered the tragic comedy as the only suitable kind for a play.

Nevertheless I would say that there are a bunch of things which have to be done entirely or not at all as doing them partially ends up as a mess.
you can either play things safe or take a high risk but things in between tend to end up in chaos - I mean compare it to poker either you drop out of the game when you are not sure to win or you will pretend to have a good set of cards till the end - if you leave the match in the middle you will just loose money for nothing.
Sure you can't see everything in black and white (especially when talking bout people they usually ain't complete assholes vs the good guys but every person has its own unique pro and cons) but for behavior it's usually a good choice.

"Play your cards to the max" as I tend to say

if i was in it for sex why would i mention my cooking abilities?  :lol:
Ah! a very important topic when it comes to things of this nature:
In recent decades a stereotype has been forming..Guys only want one thing. This is a hard thing to overcome especially when a girl cant quite tell if your longing for her in that way..or not..unless your being obvious.

I feel that sex is one of those things that two people can share with eachother that they wont share with anyone/many others (since some relationships just dont work out in the end for whatever reason). If some lady came up to me and demanded 'satisfaction' i'd probly turn her down since ive no clue who she is..that and at the present moment ive just woken up and i need to get to my morning hygene routine. Very moral of me right? However a part of me is goin "NYAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!!!"...never said these urges were easy .

Now im one of those jacket-offering type fellows (start laughin' bEn ), i hold doors open for ladies..push in chairs...offer my chair and sit on the floor...but most of that doesnt mean a thing to most women since they feel im being nice for the sole purpose of getting into their pants..they're a tough crowd .

Ive no trouble waiting it out..since at the moment im so involved with my games..that it'd take alot to pull me away from them (sometimes sleep cant get in my way! muhuahahaha!!). Im just worried that when and if i do find someone on this stinkin' planet to share my heart with she'll be so mentally and emotionally banged-up by the 'macho' guys that i cant stand her Im seeing a recent trend in that my worries are unfounded...but i do worry alot (blame my mom!).

And trust me, i know that if i pour it all out to Blahia it wont change much...it just helps to vent..you know? Gives me hope so i dont have to let it out quite so often . Just a schpeal that was brought to my mind *shrug*

Now ive got to go make Phill's eyes explode

hey Seani - the jacket-offering joke was caused by 2 things
a)it is totally against the usual personality of my friend
b)I strongly believe that you should not "overprotect" a person - it's like removing their own will and personality. If somebody tells me he doesn't freeze it's ok and I will let him live.  I mean the reason why I like or do not like somebody (including women) is their personality and that's why I don't want to change it. Sure it is just a small interference but it can end up quite ridiculous ... still can't forget when the girfriend of another friend of mine forced him to brush his teeth at that very moment and not later.

I know that from the other side - my last girlfriend always tried to "protect" me from my own unawareness to such events like rain, storms and stuff. But come on it's not my way to behave like I'm made of sugar and can't stand some drops of rain. It just got on my nerves because I would not change - a person running round being afraid of anything is just not my personality.

Leave people their own space to develop and to be themselves and do not act as if you knew what is right for them.

BTW: If relations would be just about sex then why to start one anyway? I mean you can get sex easier by just staying solo and fetching some good looking wanna be whores every day.

I cant see how a simple kind gesture such as offering someone my coat could possibly insult their validity as an intelligent human being...
am i demanding that they take it? am i forcing them to? if they say 'no' its their problem...at least i offered.
its not like i'd take a bullet for them.

EDIT: Normally i dont even offer it unless i see someone shivering...which is an obvious sign of the body trying to generate heat...if they really really like shivering, catching a cold, and being miserable later then they can just have it i guess

I'll offer my coat because it's kind. I open doors because it's polite. I say thank-you because it's polite.

None of these are attempts to a) Get in someone's knickers or b) Change their personality.

But hey, to each their own.

I'm learning German myself and I must say that after speaking with quite a few German people I've really taking a liking to them. The reason I say this is I find myself leaning towards bEn often in this conversation although everyone here is bringing up good arguments I think bEns point we need to let people develop individually is a key point in life not nessisarily relationships. There comes a certain level of spirituality we Buddhists practice that is seeing everyone as an equal and instead of meditating or training by ourselves we meditate and train together to reach a new level of spirituality. Perhaps this can be done with love towards a man or women.

There's a really interesting book out soon that basically recommends women should sacrifice their careers and own personal happiness in order to cater to their husband's every whim - they should stay at home, look after the children and always make sure his dinner is on the table. The best bit is that it was written by a woman. How splendid.

If some [not all] women fail to appreciate a kind gesture which, in some small way, makes their life a little easier and more pleasant, then we're probably better off without them anyway. Thankfully, not all women are like this, so don't give up hope, young'un.

Well you're right what I mean is to make sb do things that they do not want to do - it's a difference to offer sth than to force sb even gently to do sth.
And as I said - if it's your nature it's fine - if you just play to get in so knickers it is sth to laugh about.  As I say you should be yourself because you can't pretend to be someone else for the rest of yourself.

Another thing I would say is that sure you are always thankful when somebody pretends you from harm. But if it's neither needed nor wanted and it's not like they doom themselves you should let them be. I mean you can easily overprotect somebody and even make the smalles decision for him - come on if I wear a coat or not - I can decide that on my own -don't I?

Yeah Newts - I never understand women - according to such topics I know 3 kinda women
a) those who believe in feminism meaning nothing but sexism against men (ya know these "femele quotas", "we need a female president/ceo/anything" kinda women)
b) those who think similar to the most sexistic guy there is - which would be the one who wrote the book you talk about
c)those who believe in equalness and both expect and live that - usually those are against these "female quotas" and stuff and usually I would say they think like men - at least those I know.

well you can make it TWO ladies now....   and guys...just be yourselves....if a woman/girl won't like you in a erotic/loving way, just leave her alone and be good friends with her....  There is no need for pretence, y'all.

In the end its probly the best thing...just trying to understand why you ladies tell us this..but yet go for the guys who dont act like themselves
or are jerks..real bad jerks..

I think im just gonna give up on female companionship beyond friendship..put my dick in a vice-grip, and marry my computer.

Suckgas!!! Good to see you around after all that time!
How are you doing these days?