The Shining Source

You'd need a miner's lamp and a canary to find her there.

Boom boom.

These are BBC headlines, by the way. Here's another:

"Hasselhoff in chandelier accident"

I think I've watched too much The Day Today!

Hasselhoff in a chandeleer accident?? WTF?

is the chandelier ok?

Yeah, everything went into slow motion and Kitt swerved at the last minute.

Ho ho.

From my Uni notes:

Clap around the circle
In a circle, each person claps in turn. Try to make the clap go around as quickly as possible. Can also send multiple claps around in reverse direction.

Tremendous!

PETER CROUCH IN COCAINE LESBO ROMP SHOCK

I think the shock in question is that Peter Crouch is a lesbian

I can read NZ headlines all day and not stop laughing at the ridiculousness of the medias attention.  Maybe I'm reading The NZ Comic Relief Times?

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Woman cop moonlighted as prostitute

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(one week later)
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Police prostitute keeps job, gets counselling

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Also, more in the silly front of law enforcement in nz:
'One man crimewave' still on loose