The Shining Source

OK I'll ammend the joke.

Why did the widescreen TV fall out of the tree?
Because Jesus pushed it.


better butter?

peanut... not better!

Maybe beetle butter?

Does beetle butter fly?

1:00 p.m.

Time flies like an arrow
Fruit flies lke a banana

I always thought penicillin helped against bacterial infections, but guess not :s.

*is off to see the doctor again now*

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."
The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

You're all gonna make me talk to myself again aren't you.

Meanwhile, I'm on day 3 of a 7 day ban on coffee and sugar.
The weekend was long, and it was hard - but I made it, despite the coming easter bringing delicious chocolatey goodness in front of my face constantly.

I think I'm through the worst of it, I now only have a constant craving for a coffee, compared with being crumpled up in the corner angry at the world.

But why are you on a 7 day ban of coffee and sugar? Is this voluntarily or are you being forced by your government?!

Just to see what sort of difference it makes.
My appetite has increased(a good thing for me), I've been drinking heaps of water to help stave away the cravings,  and I don't feel sick because the only thing I've had all day are umpteen cups of coffee.

Day 5:
I feel stronger, more energised and my mind is clearer.  My eyes have even stopped hurting so much.  BUT I STILL WANT SOME FRICKEN COFFEE GIMME GIMME AND EASTER EGG GIMME.  [pulls self away from the bad things]

So by now, you are done with your treatment?

Yeah I had a huge sugar high on the weekend from the masses of easter eggs I ate : )

It was greeeat

I think my mobile phone has a real person trapped inside of it.

I spilt milo all down the side of the oven D: